Tuesday, October 5, 2010

machine gun fire

The view from my house earlier in the evening. The evacuation began shortly after Clayton took this picture.

The view of from the other side of the valley.

My house is one of those little lights over there!

Our mountain is gone! My house is just about one street below where this photo is cropped, toward the bottom left corner.

Holy smokes! Literally. What a crazy thing to happen. I'm sure you've all heard about this whole thing by now, I'm so slow getting around to blogging lately. But I want to share my experience anyway. Here are some pictures to show you what we saw that night. These aren't my pictures because my camera was packed into one of the suitcases by then, along with jumbled up clothes, diapers, photos, and random things we didn't want to risk losing.

I smelled smoke around 2 pm that day, as I stumbled in late to church with the baby. By 3:30 the smell had made its way inside the church, and my friend Angie and I asked each other during class, "Do you smell smoke?"

From our house after church we could see a massive cloud of smoke rising from the backside of our mountain, and stretching all the way north across the valley. I wasn't worried though, that mountain has been on fire a few times since we've lived here, and it's never made it's way down toward the houses before. I got myself and the kids ready to head up to my parents' house for dinner. Clay decided to stay home because not only did he have a huge project to finish for work, he was also concerned about the fire.

Around 7:30 he called me, "Leave the kids with your mom, and come home and get what you want out of the house, we're evacuating." Huh? Seriously? I still wasn't really worried. I brought the baby with me in case he needed to be fed, and Olivia too. I figured that way I wouldn't have to drive back up there to get the other three kids, because my sister Hailey offered to bring them out after the whole fire thing was over with...right? I took my time leaving too, and Clayton called and said, "Please tell me you're halfway home!" when I was just getting into my car. I thought he was just being paranoid.

Heading west I began to realize that this was real, and it was a big deal. The mountains looked like they were running with lava in the dark. The traffic was backed up for at least a mile to get off at my exit, and in the meantime, my sister-in-law Kerstin was texting me, "Do you want me to come get your kids?" So I called her and asked if she could take the two babies. Luckily she lives off the next exit, so I sped up past my exit and all the traffic, and dropped them off with her. Good thing I did, because it would not have been good to have them with me. I don't know what I would have done with them as we ransacked our own house, and the air would've been horrible for those little ones to breathe.

When I got home (which was a blessing I did...the police blocked the way to my neighborhood shortly after I got there), I found my father-in-law and two awesome brothers-in-law there already, hauling armload after armload out to Clay's car and my father-in-law's truck. They already had all the photo albums I requested, you know, all the old film photos I don't have backed up on CD. They had helped Clay haul out most of his office from the basement, his computers with work projects saved on them, our very livelihood! I didn't know what to grab first when I got home. My father-in-law, as many of you know, had his house burn down two years ago, and he said, "Get lots of clothes and the things you'll need for the next few days." Diapers, toothbrushes, etc. I didn't even think of grabbing stuff like that, but of course we would need clothes! We grabbed the unfolded laundry in the basket that I had been meaning to get around to, and Clay pulled out the suitcases. I literally started throwing stuff in. Kids p.j.'s, underwear, framed photos I knew I couldn't replace, journals. It was a mess. My house was turned upside down in the process. And I was still in my skirt and heeled sandals from church!

Imagine running in and out of your house to your car with your priceless items, hoping you haven't forgotten anything, while ashes were snowing down from the sky. Orange clouds of smoke towering over you from the hillside above. So frightening. I was so glad the kids weren't there. Neighbors were loading up their cars, all of us calling to each other to offer help, to ask, "Do you have somewhere to go?" It was like a hundred campfires blowing into your face at once with no escape. Our eyes burned, our throats itched, and I could feel myself and my house becoming filthy inside and out.

It felt like I was in a movie, and I couldn't think straight. I could hear sirens and officers calling for us to evacuate through megaphones as they drove along our street. What else should I take?

Just when I thought I had everything, I realized that I was missing some things that would be so sad to lose...my Book of Mormon that Mom and Dad gave me when I was baptized, with a letter from Dad written inside. That, and my two nightstand drawers that are crammed full of love notes and drawings from my kids over the years. So last of all I grabbed those two drawers and away we went. It took about 30 minutes to get to the main intersection, which usually takes about 3 or 4 minutes. Masses of car lights strung out for miles in front and behind us. What a comfort to pull into Mom and Dad's driveway. Safety and a nice place to sleep that night even though we smelled like campfire, our cars smelled like campfire, and everything we brought with us smelled like campfire!

Clay and I stayed up late with Dad, listening to his police scanner, and eating Oreos. We listened to their conversation as the firefighters frantically gathered brush trucks to rescue our friends' house up the hill. The fire came within 15 feet of their house.

My house was such a smelly mess to come home to the next afternoon, but we did come home. And so did most everyone else. I feel so sad for those people who lost their homes. What a tragedy. But I think, at least we had the opportunity to salvage things beforehand, because usually people don't have time to save anything from a house fire.

I am STILL cleaning that fine layer of soot off of every surface. It keeps seeping in through the windows somehow every time the wind blows. My kids have black dirty feet even after running around on the grass. But I'm sure after a few snowfalls, things will start to be clean again.

If I've learned anything from this, it's that there are miracles. Of course, I knew that before, but it was just made more real to me. Winds shifted just in time and stopped the fire from taking several homes in our ward. The fire literally came up to their back yards, melted their fences and stopped.

Also, I've realized that all our worldly goods mean absolutely nothing. I knew that before too, of course, but when you are forced to sort through what matters and what doesn't, it's made clear. All of that stuff is replaceable. It's the people, our families, our babies, the memories that can't be replaced. And I had all of that with me. So everything was going to be alright.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

every badge in the book


Check him out. That Cub Scout shirt is plastered in badges. This was taken a few weeks ago, just before he received his "Arrow of Light" at pack meeting. That's the equivalent of "Eagle" in Boy Scouts. He earned a ton more badges that night too, and so many belt loops that they won't even fit on his belt. Ben, we are so proud of you!

Clayton is the Cub Master, and he did such a great job on the Arrow of Light presentation for Ben and one other boy in our pack. He did it Indiana Jones style, complete with the theme music and an antique looking map he made out of a paper bag. He said, "You Cub Scouts are always prepared, right?" which was the cue for one of the leaders to hit the lights. The boys said, "Right!" as they each turned on a flashlight. Obviously, Clay told them to have flashlights for the thing beforehand, but it added to the Indiana Jones feel, like they were in a cave looking for a treasure.

This is Ben's last month in Cub Scouts since he is turning 11 on the 30th. He's sad to leave it, but excited to move on to the Boy Scouts stuff...like camp outs!


one month






One month already?

Still sleeps all the time (except around 1 and 4 am), and he's the sweetest little baby ever. Hardly makes a peep. I'm so happy he doesn't have colic like 3 of my 4 other kids did. He only cries when he's hungry or getting a diaper change...brrrr! Those wipes are cold you know.

Things aren't as crazy with 5 kids as I had imagined. Okay, I'm lying. It's completely nuts, and I keep losing track of all the people that live here, but it's good. Olivia is just a huge handful. That's the hardest part, keeping her occupied and out of trouble. And just for the record, since we're being honest here, can I just say that I detest bedtime? If one more person says, "I'm hungry!" at 9 pm, so help me! Haha.

I just have to remind myself of something my mom said, "Before you know it you'll be 50 and all your kids will be gone." She and my grandma both agree that the best time of life is where I'm at right now. So that helps keep things in perspective. I'm just trying to enjoy life with all these little kids while it lasts. I know one day I will miss it all.

Yeah, all but the POOP.

Have I told you the latest poop story?

Last Friday, my friend Kerrie stopped by. We were chatting and unintentionally ignoring all children. You know how it is. Meanwhile...Olivia stuck her hand down her diaper. "Is that poop all over her hand?" Kerrie asked. Why yes, yes it is! Acckkk!

"Let me take the baby!" Kerrie said. I lifted Olivia up at arms length and headed toward the bathtub. Then Kerrie said, "Umm, is that poop on the back of YOUR leg?" Why yes, yes it is. Ugh! A stripe of poop, painted nicely by Olivia on the back of my thigh, from before we had realized the seriousness of the situation, haha!

I stripped Olivia down, plopped her into the tub, changed my pants, all while Will was screaming. Kerrie left, then I sat down to feed the baby, while listening to Olivia jibber-jabber and splash from down the hall.

Next she came skipping and dripping into the family room and happily peed on the floor. Oh my gosh! I'm stranded, breastfeeding on the couch. "Get back in the tub!" I said, and off she pranced. When I went to get her out a few minutes later, I saw that she had pulled the giant bath towel into the tub with her. So that weighed about 300 pounds as I tried to wring it out.

Do you think moms ever miss days like that? Well, at least it's good for a laugh.

Friday, September 3, 2010

w is for will

Monday, August 30, 2010

photo shoot outtakes of Olivia


Here's a peek at what Olivia does while
I'm taking pictures of the new baby...

First she shows me her prettiest smile with her dress halfway off,

then she peeps over the crib to see baby Will...

Next she pulled Will's tiny pants out of his drawer
and put them on herself. Nice knickers!

She showed me her pretty toenails that Clayton painted
while I was in the hospital {how cute is that?}.

Room wreckage professional at your service!

Why, Mrs. Potato Head, I love your fancy lipstick!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

will's first week at home


Olivia, the big helper!
She LOVES baby Will {"beebee Wow"}.

2 days.





4 days.


4 days.

4 days.



6 days, with big sister Hannah.




A little bundle just chillin' on Mom and Dad's bed. 7 days old.


7 days.




7 days. Oh baby, don't cry!

10 days.
All 5 kids have worn this sleeper
and it's still like new since they grow out of it so quickly.
This is one of those baby things I just won't ever be able to part with!


I was so scared to have this 5th baby, but it really hasn't been as crazy as I thought it would be. Yes, Olivia has splashed in the toilet, scratched up some DVDs and slammed her fingers in a drawer while I'm nursing the baby...but over all it's been okay. I'm still exhausted and feeling overwhelmed sometimes, but Will is such a mellow baby {knock on wood, all the kids but Nina had colic by 2 or 3 weeks}, he really only cries when he's getting his diaper changed and when it's time to eat. I've had some super nice friends and family bring in dinners, which has helped a TON. Also, with Nina gone to kindergarten in the afternoons, I'm able to nap while Olivia and Will nap every afternoon, which has saved me. I guess I was just expecting it to be a lot more crazy than it really is.

The past two weeks I've just loved cuddling up to his sweet new baby smell, feeling the soft fuzz on his shoulders and cheeks, and kissing him. What a sweet little baby. I'm completely in love!


Friday, August 27, 2010

hospital pics


I hate needles! Aren't you proud of me?

Holding Will for the first time.
I always cry the first time I hear the baby cry, it is so amazing.

Ben is so happy to have a brother...
the look on his face when he came into the delivery room was priceless.

One day old.



Poor little baby! He had a fever and then dropped to 96.5,
so the pediatrician had him on antibiotics through an IV in his tiny hand. So sad!

Cutest dad ever.

Ben was first in line to hold him when they came to visit the next day.

Hannah was so sweet, just kept standing by my bed,
all quiet {totally unlike her}, and smiling at me.

One happy big sister, and officially our middle child.


Olivia wasn't sure how to react...she'd be laughing and wildly happy one second,
and then pitching a fit the next, completely bipolar! She's doing a lot better now though.

I've been wanting to write all week, but you know...I just had a baby! Up at 1 am, 4 am, then Nina comes in at 6 am {"I'm scared!"}, baby up at 7 am again, then I'm up at 7:30 to get the kids out the door for school. My bedroom is strewn with burp cloths, the bed unmade, tiny diapers spilling out of the garbage can. I love it though. He won't be a newborn for very long, and despite all the chaos, I'm enjoying it more than ever.

The delivery went great, just took awhile longer than I thought it would since my doctor had to go do an emergency c-section at another hospital. So the nurse slowed down my Pitocin and I had to wait my turn. Then the baby was slower to make his appearance than all my girls...the girls all came in about an hour and a half, and this little guy took about 3 1/2 hours. Can't complain though! It was still pretty fast.

After he was born, Clayton was ready to take him out into the hallway for my family to see him {Clay's family were all down at Lake Powell}. "What should I tell them his name is?" Hmmm...yeah, we still hadn't come to an agreement on that.

"I still like the name James," I said.

"I still like the name Will," he said. "James reminds me of an old man. And I don't want people calling him Jimmy."

{Yeah, yeah. We've had this conversation how many times now?}

"Should we flip a coin?" Clayton asked. Nice! We almost did.

But then after I thought about it for a minute or two, I said, "Okay, well, I did name all the girls and you were always great with what I picked, so....okay, you just go ahead and name him." After all, "Will" was on my list of boy names too. Just not my top pick.

"Okay, are you sure? You can't go back on it, you know?" he said.

"It'll grow on me," I said.

Clayton was very happy about that. And that's the story of how William got his name.
{I picked the middle name of Clayton though.}

Since he was born I've found out that I have several ancestors from England and Ireland named William, one of which shook hands with the Prophet Joseph Smith. So now I like the name even more.

Can I tell you how much I hate being in the hospital? I know some people love it, but I feel like I'm in prison. And the food...ugh! I wanted to check out of there the day after he was born, especially since we have no insurance and we are paying for it. But since he and I had both had fevers for a short time the doctors wouldn't sign the discharge papers. My doctor had left on vacation that day so I couldn't even talk to him, just the on call doctor that I don't even know. Long story, but we ended up staying another night even though we were both fine that entire 24 hours. Cha-ching! There went another $1000. Do you know that we could stay somewhere pretty darn nice for $1000 a night? That actually would have decent beds and yummy food? I felt so trapped, and Clay had to stay home with the kids that night, so I was all alone. I felt like I would go crazy! So I decided to walk the halls for a bit.

As I was walking the halls, pushing baby Will in his little bassinet, a big old mean nurse pointed down toward the end of the hallway where I was headed. "Don't go through those double doors down there or your baby's ankle tag will set off the alarm." I saw the doors she was pointing to, way down the hall. They were closed.

"Okay, I wasn't planning on going through the doors, I'm just walking to them and back." I said.
She put her hands on her hips and glared at me as I walked away from her. Suddenly, "WOO-WOO-WOO!" Horns and whistles shooting off, nurses scurrying around, and mostly glaring at me. I had set off the child abduction alarm by going through the OTHER double doors that were OPEN about 10 feet in front of the nurse's desk. Thanks a lot, lady! Why didn't you specify that is was THESE doors, and not THOSE doors down at the end?

Meanwhile, Clayton and the kids were downstairs, coming to see the baby. Apparently, the elevators and all the hospital doors shut down thanks to me. And I just wanted to go for a little walk. So that just added to my frustration that day. It's pretty funny now, though, isn't it?

There was one nice nurse who passed by me and said, "Don't worry, that happens ALL THE TIME."

So after Clay and the kids came to see the baby and had left, I decided to get the heck out of there for a while, and went by myself to walk outside and see the sunset. It was beautiful and warm outside. I didn't want to go back into the hospital with all those rude nurses! I can't even tell you how happy I was to finally come home with my new little baby Will on Wednesday!